Why Me?
by Kaytoko
Summary: Comedic takes on little human Bella's life around the Cullens. A short story collection.
1. Trying New Things

_Why Me?_

Drabble one: Trying new things

My eye twitched as I stared at the food in front of me. I trusted Edward's judgement on what I could eat and what I couldn't... but this was making me skeptical. Edward sat across the booth from me, watching me with curiosity that wasn't shrouded by anything. He had his long pale hands folded under his chin, and his eyebrow was raised in amusement. I scoffed at my food and pushed it away, denying it.

"You need to eat, Bella. You haven't had anything since breakfast." Edward told me, reaching out with one hand to push my plate back in front of me. I looked at it doubtfully. Slowly, I reached up with my finger and poked it. To my utmost disgust, it jiggled. I shoved the plate away again.

Edward frowned. "What's wrong?" he asked. I tore my eyes away from the odd specimen of food long enough to stare into Edward's entrancing golden eyes. He stared back, a look of confusion and held back laughter gracing his features. "Did you order something wrong?" he asked, grinning. I snorted and looked back down at my food.

"I don't know what it is." I admitted. It was a small bread-like thing that had a pink shade to the top of it. Another molded part of bread was on the side, dyed green to look like leaves. It sat on top of a warm piece of wax paper. I poked it again, and it squished under the pressure.

"I was told that it was a Dumpling." he told me, watching it with more pleasure in his eyes than me. I knew that it was a dumpling... but I didn't know what it _was_. "Just try it, Bella." He said. I sighed reluctantly. I never did like trying new things.

Edward had taken me to a Asian restaurant. In an attempt to make me try new things, he had ordered me a wide variety of odd sounding foods starting with this. This... _dumpling._ I shuddered at the thought of what might be concealed behind its rubbery texture, just waiting for me to unexpectedly take a bite into it. What was Edward thinking?

Slowly, I picked it up off the plate. It squished even more in my hands. I held back the temptation to just drop it. I peeled off the wax paper and tentatively rose it to my mouth. I nibbled a bit from the pink part and watched it as I chewed. I was relieved to find that it was just a plain piece of bread, even if it was the oddest tasting bread I had ever eaten. With relief in my mind, I bit into it farther. Edward watched me in interest.

Then, it hit me. The grueling taste of rancid meat came into my mouth overpowering even the bread. I dropped the dumpling onto my plate in abhorrence. My hands flew to my drink in a pathetic attempt to free myself from the vulgar taste. I swallowed reluctantly and then sucked half of my Coke down. I took a deep breath after I finished chasing down the taste. Even then, it still lingered in my mouth.

Edward, on the other hand, was barely suppressing a roar of laugher. His shoulders shook with his attempt and a grin spread from one ear to the other.

"Don't laugh! That was the most disgusting thing that I have ever tasted in my life!" I scolded him. He tried to put on a straight face for me, but failed miserably. He then burst out in a quiet laugh to avoid the looks of other customers.

"B-but Bella... that was the most classic face I have ever seen you make!" he choked out. He was laughing so hard that I was almost embarrassed. "That was just... That was hilarious!" He let out another loud laugh, this time gaining the gaze of other people. I frowned at him, my cheeks lighting up in response.

"Don't be mad..." he told me, his roaring laugh dying down to a soft chuckle. "I still love you, stupid gestures or not." I smiled softly at him, and he gave me his lopsided grin in response. Now how could I stay mad at that?

"I love you too..." I said quietly, but genuinely. He smiled again, even softer than before; his golden eyes shimmered with admiration. Then, the waitress came bearing yet another plate. This time, the plate that was set in front of me held small golden-brown breaded things. I wrinkled my nose at it skeptically. After the occurrence with the dumpling, I was afraid to try it.

But Edward convinced me to try it.

And I learned the hard way that it was Frog Legs.

_End _

**This drabble was formed by my personal experience with a dumpling. It didn't have meat in it... it was actually a Bean paste, and that wasn't any better, but I just wanted to make sure that it was clear that it's just absolutely a huge surprise when you bite into those things. **

**Lesson of the Day: **Make sure you know what you're eating before you eat it.

**Kaytoko**


	2. A Crazy Little Thing Called Love

_Why Me?_

Drabble Two: A crazy little thing called Love

I spun on the tips of my toes. A hairbrush was clamped tightly in my hand. And I stared at my mirror refection. Why was a dancing and singing in front of my mirror? That's a good question. Since I was three, I always sang my favorite songs in front of my mirror with my makeshift microphone clamped tightly in my hand. But, with recent circumstances, I was forced to keep everything to myself. Every little secret I saved just for myself.

But, today, Edward wasn't here. He had gone hunting yesterday with Emmett to the Goat Rocks Mountains again. He mentioned something about Emmett challenging him to a race through the forest. I just had to smile at the enthusiasm that Edward showed. He had kept his challenging nature under wraps for a while, but I had to admit. He did act like a kid sometimes.

I was clad in my pajamas; the grey sweat pants and the holey t-shirt that my mom liked to call my "rag". I did a twirl on my heels and started to sing into my "mic". The last song that I heard today was _A crazy little thing called Love _by Queen. This song always made me bounce right out of my chair and twist around my room to the beat. I knew the lyrics to the dot.

I did a whole lot of spinning and one foot hopping as I strummed my way through the song. The lyrics matched the way my relationship was with Edward. Crazy. We were insane trying to make this work, but it was worth its shot.

I spun on my heel again, my "microphone" held above my head when suddenly... there was a flash. I froze. My body went up and a scream ripped from my mouth. My butt hit the ground a second later, and a ghostly chuckle shifted through the air. Pounding footsteps came up the stairs then into my room.

"Bella! Are you alright!" Charlie called, wide eyed and obviously startled. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"I'm fine... I just scared myself... stupid mirror..." I replied laughing. Charlie let out a shaken laugh and turned to go back downstairs.

"You be careful Bells. I don't want you falling out another window." he told me starting to close my door.

"I will!" I called back. He shut my door and I rose up from my spot on the floor. "Very funny." I told the empty room. The ghostly chuckle came back, and then suddenly, he was there. And he was laughing. I narrowed my eyes at him. He just smiled innocently at me and held up a picture. I stared at it for a second then tried snatch it away from him. He held it above his head, out of my reach.

"Edward! Give it back!" I commanded, my face flushing red. He laughed and shook his head. I did a whole bunch of random jumping for it, just to find that I failed miserably. "Edward…" I growled, trying to sound threatening. He just laughed again.

"Bella…" He mocked. I frowned and crossed my arms. Edward watched me with a smile. I moved over to my bed and sat cross legged on the faded quilt.

"I don't like you anymore." I told him, surprised at how childish I was acting. I glanced over to see his expression, but he wasn't there. I tried to look around my room inconspicuously, for I knew he was watching. I didn't see him anywhere. Then, a picture came into my view. It was me, dancing in my pajamas with my makeshift microphone/hairbrush. I was singing, unknowing that Edward was going to take my picture.

"Exactly. You love me." His voice came from behind me, even though his breath was in my ear. "By the way, you looked very pretty in that picture. I'm going to save it." I turned to look at him; my face was showing a sign of fear.

"Don't save that! It's embarrassing!" I said. He laughed again.

"For you maybe, but I love it." He told me. Then, his mind switched tracks. "Were you singing Queen?" I nodded; surprised that he doubted that it was Queen. He, after all, knew hundreds of songs by title and first line of the lyrics. Then I understood. He was making fun of me.

"Edward!" I said in a dubious voice. He looked at me obviously shocked by my sudden outburst. "You're making fun of the way I sing!" He sat there staring at me for a moment, before his mouth twitched into a grin.

"Yes… and no." he said. I puckered my brow. What was _that _suppost to mean? He smiled wider, showing all of his ultra white teeth. "I love the way you sing, even if it's not like Britney Spears… or some new pop star." I rolled my eyes. His amends were funny. I leaned over up to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"I forgive you."

I never saw that picture again. Edward hid it from me, and never told me what he did with it when I asked. But it floated back into existence once I had forgotten about it. I found it in one of the many photo albums that the Cullens had. And it sat right above the words printed in Edward's exquisite penmanship,

_Bella dancing and singing in front of her mirror to Queen. Totally off tune._

Oh I got him that day.

_End_

**Hey, thanks so much for the reviews! This entire series of stories was just a little idea that I had to enlighten readers on Fanfiction. Have you realized that most of the stories under _Twilight _are… serious? That's just what I think. It takes me about… 2-3 days to write another Drabble, but that's only when I have enough free time. Until next time!**

**Lesson of the Day: **Make sure you're actually alone before dancing and singing in front of your mirror.

**Kaytoko**

**ACK! I forgot the disclaimer! Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. **


	3. Gym with Edward

_Why Me?_

Drabble Three: Gym with Edward

I was surprised.

That should practically wrap up everything that happened in just a sentence. First, we were having the annual state testing. All of our schedules were mixed up and rearranged so that we could have the time to test thoroughly. I had one extra class with Edward and that just happened to be Gym.

I thought that it was bad enough that he listened in on me when I had the class, but now he actually had front row seats. I could see it now Edward, running like a graceful swan while his girlfriend pathetically trips over the paint filings on the floor. Oh boy I was in for it now.

We walked quietly toward Gym; each step made my nerves kick up another notch. I didn't even know why I was scared. Was it because I'd be super embarrassing myself? I wouldn't know

We spilt at the locker rooms, changing quickly and walking out to the gym. My heart was thumping wildly in my ribcage, and Edward seemed to notice. He leaned down a little to speak to me in an undertone.

"Are you okay? Your heart's about to bounce right out of your chest." He said. I let out a nervous laugh.

"I-I'm fine." I said. He didn't believe me. Then the coach called us to order. He told us that we would be exercising for the first half of the grueling 80 minute class then we'd be playing dodge ball. Great. Just great. The two things I hated the most.

Edward laughed inwardly at the expression on my face. "I'll be with you the entire time." he told me. I smiled quickly, letting him know that I heard him, but I couldn't shake the nervous feeling that seemed to take me over, so the smile faded fast.

"Cullen!" snapped the coach. I noticed another head snap up with Edward's. I looked at them. I was surprised to see Emmett standing there. Another sinking feeling overwhelmed me. This time, it had to do with the fact that there were _two _vampires here to watch me fall. And one wouldn't hold back his laugher... ever. The coach was facing us. "You and Miss Swan over there, please." he told us pointing to the left. Edward nodded and led the way.

I followed slowly watching my feet. I was not looking forward to the torture I was about to put myself through. Why, oh why, couldn't I have been sick today? It was _definitely _better when Edward is nursing me back to health than him watching me kill myself in Gym...

"Edward!"

Edward's eyes were already on his oncoming brother. A grin was splattered on Emmett's face as he came over to stand with us. Now I was _really _wanting to be sick today. I looked around the room for a last minute attempt to get out of Gym. Nothing. _That _just made my spirits soar.

"Bella, ready for some thick, hard exercise followed by a grueling game of Dodgeball?" he asked me, his golden eyes sparkling with joy from the challenge. I smiled meekly at him, my expression wavering the whole way. He laughed out loud at my expression. A few gazes turned in our direction, but they looked away quickly.

The coach then called us all to order again, and told us what was needed before we could play the dreaded game of _Dodgeball_. Six laps around the gym, thirty sit ups, and fifteen pushups. I decided that the coach was giving us a break today, but I wasn't looking forward to it at all. With a wave of his hand, and a signal from his whistle, we were off to start our exercise.

We started with running. I was out on the first step, catching the toe of my tennis shoe on my other foot. Edward caught me by my elbow before I hit the glossy exterior of the Gym floor. He stopped to make sure that I was okay, while Emmett boomed with laughter. I flushed red.

Edward then started at a slow human paced jog as I started again. I was breathing hard by the fourth lap. My stamina sucked, and it showed. Emmett started to pace with us, even though he was already done running. He just didn't want to miss the show. He had a huge grin on his face, and it seemed like he would burst at the seams with laughter if he could.

We finished running with out much incident, and we started sit ups. I managed to knock my head on my kneecap and ended up sitting holding my head till the throbbing subsided. Emmett just howled with laughter as he did his sit ups effortlessly. Again, Edward stopped to see if I was okay, even though he now had a smile on his face. All hope of not being embarrassed was lost in the first twenty minutes.

Pushups, I could do. I did them without much incident, even though I did hit my head once on the concrete floor because my hand slipped... Emmett found that hilarious as well... Did I mention how much I hated Gym? Well, _this_ just made it all the more intolerable.

And now... came the most humiliating and excruciating attempt to play Dodgeball in my life. We stood at one end of the Gym in utter silence. The numbers One and Two wafted from the coach as he counted us off. I already knew that Edward was going to be on my team... but I was worried about what team Emmett was going to be on... Oh, dear god, let it be my team. Sadly, my prayers were not answered and Emmett was on the opposing team of Edward and me. And I knew too well what that would result in.

The foam balls rolled across the floor toward the center. We all stood behind the farthest painted line and waited. Then there was the whistle, and everyone shot out. I didn't on evading purposes, but Edward and Emmett did. People were getting out right and left on both teams; Edward and Emmett were the culprits.

Then, as the numbers dwindled, Emmett and Edward finally turned their eyes to each other. I could tell from how often I spent time with them that both boys were ecstatic and were about to burst with the fun that they were having. But, I could also tell that a challenge was being formed. First out, the other gets bragging rights for a week.

The balls flew at menacing speeds as the boys attempted to outwit the other. Edward, and his mind reading abilities, easily evaded the balls. Emmett, with his super intensified abilities, did the same. The numbers were down now to Emmett, Edward and I. Of course, I stood protectively in the corner of the Gym while the boys went at it.

By some odd twist of fate, a squishy (or squished) foam ball rolled up to my feet. I bent down and picked it up. I stared at it for a moment as a completely idiotic idea came into my head.

Slowly, I walked toward the front line. Edward and Emmett seemed to be overly involved in their sparring match to notice me. But either way, I stayed toward the side. Then, as I watched them throw balls back and forth relentlessly, I tossed the ball with all of my strength. It did a huge arch and ended up knocking Emmett in the head. Both him and Edward stood still suddenly, and then turned my way. Both looked shell shocked.

I smiled sheepishly at them. "I guess that means that I win?" I said.

_End _

**Okay, in total, I was very happy with the surplus of pleasant and positive reviews! I like them tons, and it convinces me to write yet another Drabble after I read them. I'm actually surprised that I've managed to write one a day. I'm not so sure that the next few will be as quick as this one, but I'm sure glad that you guys like them!**

**Lesson of the Day: **Showing off against a Vampire in Dodgeball can get you some really good bragging rights.

**Kaytoko** (my Betas... Sumi, and Suma Susaki say hi)


	4. Alice Attack

_Why Me?_

Drabble Four: Alice Attack

"Bella!"

I froze. It was that tone of voice... It was loud... and high pitched... and it sent shivers up my spine. I turned my scared gaze toward Edward who was sitting next to me on the piano bench. He gave me a reassuring smile, but I could see the laughter in his eyes. He obviously had read Alice's mind and it wasn't a good thing for me... because he liked it.

She was there in an instant, complete with a huge smile. She took my hand in both of hers and started to bounce up and down. I could tell by the gleam in her golden eyes that it was going to involve me trying something on...

"Come on, Bella! Hurry!" she said as she pulled me out the door. I sent one last look at Edward who just waved good-bye. Alice lead me to Rosalie's glossy red convertible. Jasper was already in the driver's seat and the ostentatious car was already on. I rose and eyebrow as Alice almost threw me into the backseat. He read my confusion.

"I'm coming to keep Alice's spending frenzy in check." he told me as he swung the car out of the makeshift garage. I struggled to put my seat belt on as the wind whipped at my face. Then, Alice started to tell me about what she had in store for me.

"I was looking through _Cosmo Girl _magazine yesterday, and there was this absolutely adorable outfit that one of the celebrities was wearing and I just had to get you into it. So, I researched on the internet, and happens be that there's a great store that has _everything _in Seattle, and oh, Bella, I had to take you there!" she told me, her voice speeding really fast. I heard about half of it, and ended up nodding in response.

Suddenly, we were there. I was trying so hard to hear what Alice was saying to notice that the drive just flew by. Then again, when you ride with vampires that like to triple the speed limit, one can get confused too.

Jasper got out of the car leisurely but Alice bounced out, without even opening the door. She started to pull me out of the backseat as soon as I unbuckled, and then drug me toward the glass double doors of a huge shopping mall. A shiver of fear went up my spine. Now, I was in for it.

People would stare at us conspicuously, watching with either interest or just plain disarray. I could understand their responses. After all, it's not everyday that you see two gorgeous people dragging an almost too ordinary girl down a shopping mall.

I could hear Jasper trying to tell Alice to stop dragging me so obviously. Alice listened every now and then, but she would usually just re-grab my arm and drag me to another designer brand store. I was in and out of so many different pairs of clothes that I felt dizzy. Alice would throw the clothes on me, then stare at it deciding if it looked good or not, then she would pull it off and repeat the process. Poor Jasper had to sit patiently for us to come out of the dressing room. He also ended up carrying all the bags that Alice would gain.

It was all a routine now. Scan the racks, grab the clothes, drag me to a dressing room, throw clothes on me, drag me back out of the dressing room, a quick swipe of a clear card, all bags dumped on Jasper, and yet another series of dragging me across the mall to another overly priced store. And all I really did was stand in for the mannequin.

I heard Jasper mention a thing here or there about buying too much, but then Alice would turn those oh-so-evil scorching eyes on him and then stick her lower lip out in a pout. He gave in quickly almost every time. Goes to show you, even vampires have to pout to get their way.

Finally, I heard the thing I had been wanting to hear since we set foot into the mall.

"It's getting late. We should take Bella home now. Edward is going to want to see her again." I almost rejoiced when Jasper told Alice that. She did her evil vampire pout in protest.

"But Jasper! Just three more stores? Please?" she asked him. He seemed to hesitate for a moment. My inner self was cheering on Jasper to say no, and just take me home. But of course, I didn't have telepathy, and Jasper wasn't the one who could read minds, so he gave in to his persisting girlfriend. (Wife actually, but that's not important.) And, sadly, I was yet again drug around the mall.

My luck was against me till a minute till eight. The cell phone that Alice carried around buzzed and she whipped it to her ear. I watched her as she listened for a moment then started to protest again. I could tell that it was Edward on the phone. After about a minute of endless protesting, Alice sighed in defeat and snapped the phone shut. "Okay," she said quietly. "We can go home now." I smiled while the inner me jumped and celebrated with joy.

We were home in thirty some-odd minutes and Edward was waiting for us on the porch steps. I almost laughed at the way he grinned when we pulled up. After we were parked, Jasper and Edward almost literally had to dig me out of the backseat from how many bags there were. Alice just smiled and trotted inside.

"So," Edward started after we had gotten all the bags inside Alice's room. I was going to leave most of them there while I took a few home with me. "Did you have fun?" His eyes gleamed with suppressed laughter.

I gave him an unamused grin and told him, "Just warn me next time she gets one of these crazy ideas."

_End _

**Thank you so much for the reviews! They are so pleasant to read and they make my day. So to the few who did review, THANK YOU! About the Alice and Jasper relationship I mentioned. They were married once for those whom do not already know. So, if you want yet another oh-so-random drabble, please review! Who can wait till New Moon? Not me!**

**Lesson of the Day: **With all caution, avoid vampires with dangerous spending abilities. It can get messy. Fast.

**Kaytoko**


	5. Which came first? The chicken or the egg

_Why Me?_

Drabble five: Which came first? The chicken or the egg?

"Have you ever wondered..." I mused out loud as I scanned Edward's massive CD collection for the umteenth time. Edward rose an eyebrow in amusement.

"I don't know. You tell me." he teased. "I'm pretty sure that I wonder all the time. After all, that's one of a few things we vampires can do." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Let me finish?" I asked. He smiled. "Have you ever wondered which came first? The chicken or the egg?" My question threw him for a loop. He creased his brow in thought for a moment and thought about it. Slowly he answered my question.

"Not really." he told me. I walked over and sat next to him on the dark couch in his room. He pulled me into his lap. "It never really occurred to me. After all, I have much better things to think about." He smiled at me. I smiled back, but my thoughts wavered back to my question.

"But really Edward. Which do you think came first?" He thought about it, while rocking me back and forth in his lap. I watched him as he made his decision. Finally, he nodded as he became satisfied with his answer.

"The egg."

I looked at him like he had grown another head. "The chicken." I disagreed. He narrowed his eyes and his smile grew as he realized that he had just found himself a challenge. "Why do you think that?" he asked me.

"Because," I began to reel through my original reasons for always thinking the chicken ever since I had heard the question the first time. "There had to have been something to lay the egg to continue the race of the Chicken." I told him. He smirked at me like he had the entire conversation at wraps.

"But, that Chicken came from an egg, so that means that the egg came first." he told me.

"That's where your wrong. How can there be an egg without something to lay it?" I asked him. He rose an eyebrow at my comment. I had him on that one.

"But, that Chicken could have been a cross between two different breeds of birds that just happened upon each other. So in other words, the egg came first." he said. I frowned. He was right again.

"The Chicken had to have come first though. What animals would make a chicken?" I asked, trying to bring him to my side. "I mean, come on Edward. A Quail and a Hawk made the chicken?"

"Could be." he said calmly. "I'll have to look that one up."

"But in total, the Chicken came first. No crossbreeding involved."

"The egg did."

"The chicken."

"The egg."

"The chicken!"

"The egg!"

"Chicken!"

"Egg!"

"Chicken!"

"Egg!"

"The chicken, Edward!"

"The egg, Bella!"

"Chicken!"

"Egg!"

"What are you two doing?"

"Carlisle! Tell Edward that the Chicken came first!"

"Please tell Bella that the egg came first."

Carlisle rose an eyebrow at us. We were both staring intently at each other. The funny thing, was that I was still sitting in Edward's lap with his arms wrapped around my waist.

"I'm not in this." he concluded walking out the door in a swift motion.

"Carlisle!"

"Chicken!"

"Egg!"

"Edward, it's so obvious! It's the Chicken!"

"Bella, I'm 104. I should know if it was the Chicken or the Egg. It was the egg."

"Edward, the chicken was around a lot longer than that, and you just said that you never thought about it!"

"So? It's still the egg. Logically."

"Wrong. Logically, it's the chicken."

"Egg!"

"Chicken!"

"This is pointless. Let's just put it on rest and leave it undetermined. Deal?" Edward held out his hand to me in a truce gesture. I took it slowly.

"Deal."

**One month later**

"Remember that conversation we had about the Chicken or the Egg?" I asked Edward one day as he drove us to school. He smiled and nodded.

"Yes. And we agreed that it was the Egg."

I turned on him. "No we didn't. It was the chicken."

"The egg!"

"The chicken!"

_End_

**Okay, this one came to me as I was writing the original drabble five. The original one was just unfunny, and I wanted to pull something that noone had before. So, I came up with the chicken or the egg. I have to agree with Edward though. I think that it was the egg. Thanks for your reviews! Please review again!**

**Lesson of the Day: **Don't start a pointless argument about origins of things with a Vampire. You won't win.

**Kaytoko** (My inspiration is from the wonderful sound track to _The Chronicles of Narnia: the Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe_. Much thanks!)


	6. Lady Bug Brigade

_Why Me?_

Drabble Six: Lady Bug Brigade

We sat at our meadow in peace. A cool wind sifted through the area with utmost softness. I closed my eyes and let the air pass through my hair. It was getting dark, and I was becoming obviously hungry.

"We should start heading back." Edward voiced behind me. I turned my eyes to him, and nodded, taking in his sparkling form once more before the horizon took it from me. He rose to his feet, then held his hand out for me. I took it with a smile.

He hoisted me to my feet, and held my hand lightly. We were about to start walking when I noticed it. The little red and black mass that was just under Edward's upraised foot. My eyes widened in surprise.

"NO!" I shrieked, shoving Edward to the side. He actually stumbled and had to regain his balance.

"What the hell?" he asked in utter shock. His eyes were wide in confusion. I bent down and picked up one of the almost squished creatures. It was a little army of lady bugs. And Edward almost squished it unmercifully underneath his foot.

"Look at what you almost did!" I accused holding up the Lady bug as proof. He stared at me like I was crazy for a moment. "You almost killed an unsuspecting group of lady bugs!"

Realization dawned on him as he stared at the little black and red creature that was held a mere centimeter from his nose. He then burst out laughing.

"Bella, Bella, Bella! You're just too much for me!" he said as he roared with laughter. I puffed out my cheeks in annoyance. I was being serious! He put his hand to his forehead and stared back at me with soft golden eyes. "How could I forget your 'Save the Lady Bugs' movement?"

He started to laugh again as I just huffed in annoyance. So what if I stopped mowing the lawn long enough to move the lady bugs to a different location to avoid unnecessary death by razor sharp blades. I wasn't _that _unmerciful. Unlike a certain vampire that I knew.

Said vampire tousled my hair and slung me into his arms. "I promise that I will avoid all lady bugs at all costs. Okay?" he whispered with a lopsided grin. I nodded as the lady bug on my finger flew away.

"Ready to run?" he then asked me. I groaned wishing with all my might that I could be that lady bug right now.

_End _

**Okay, So sorry that this drabble was so short. But come on, they're drabbles. They're meant to be short. This one was originally from the words/actions of one of my close friends. She personally stops and picks up lady bugs from her path. Unlike me, who doesn't like lady bugs because they're everywhere and they end up popping up and landing on me making me scream and freak out. (Don't kill me! They're cute, but annoying!) So I take all the chances I get to either squish them or bat them out of my way. Anyways, thanks for the reviews! You guys are the best, and you give me the sweetest reviews! They make _me _laugh!**

**Lesson of the Day: **SAVE THE LADY BUGS! (Even though I don't like them, still do it!)

**Kaytoko**


	7. Phone Games

_Why Me?_

Drabble seven: Phone Games

I sat casually on the couch next to Edward at the Cullen household. The giant TV that they owned was on, and the Edward had insisted that he watch the Food Channel. So there we were. Just sitting there watching Emril cook up some odd duck thing. Or, at least Edward was. I was busy watching Edward's reactions every time that Emril would add some thing to the duck to intensify the taste. Edward would make a face and mutter under his breath that he didn't understand why. Naturally, I would laugh. Edward would glance at me, give me a small smile then turn his attention back to the Professional Cook.

Sometimes, Emmett, or Alice would come down to see what was going on. Both of them would either come sit down for a short while, or just say something in passing. Neither was in the room at the time, so it was just me, Edward and Emril. Yay.

Suddenly, there was a loud ringing sound that echoed through the house. I bolted out of my seat in surprise. Edward stifled a laugh as he bolted out of his chair.

"I GOT IT!"

I was even more surprised when I heard five other voices join Edward's. Then, I heard something I thought I would never hear in my life at the Cullen household. A stampede. The thunderous sound came from the stairs as all five vampires bolted for the kitchen. I almost fell off of the couch at how ungraceful and reckless they all were.

A calm voice answered the loud phone. "Hello?" It was Carlisle. There were five agonizing groans. I heard Alice pipe up first.

"Put it on speaker, Carlisle! We want to hear!"

Carlisle nodded and set down the phone. A timid voice came from the receiver. "M-Mr. Carlisle Cullen?" I came close at laughing out loud when the man pronounced Carlisle's name with a sharp 's' sound. The others were just like me.

"Yes, this is him." Carlisle replied in a calm, unflustered voice. He paid no attention to the mispronounced name.

"Ah. This is Alex Riftly from the Seattle Cable Company. I'm calling on behalf of a great new system that has been issued for your house." The sound of rustling paper came through the phone speaker. Six eyes, including mine fixed on Carlisle. He stared up at the ceiling obviously thinking.

"Snap." he muttered, just loud enough for Alex to hear. "They found me."

"E-excuse me, sir?" Alex asked, suddenly confused. Carlisle shook his head mournfully, as if Alex could see it.

"I thought that they wouldn't find me... How wrong I was." He said with a mischievous smile on his face. Alex seemed to hesitate for a moment.

"Um, I have not the slightest fathom of what you are talking about, s-sir." he said carefully. The Cullens seemed to stifle a laugh.

"Oh, it's nothing that you would know of, Alex of the Cable Company." Carlisle said in a dignified tone. "After all, you are just the underling. If you knew exactly what happened when it was issued... you wouldn't want to install it."

Alex didn't say anything at first. "Um, I-I don't know what you're talking about... I'm just calling because you said that you wanted it..."

"Exactly." Carlisle said.

"Eh?" Alex replied now overly obvious that he was confused.

"Please tell your boss that you will never catch me alive!" Carlisle laughed before hanging up the phone. (A/N: no pun intended there! I swear!) I gaped at him while the other six vampires roared with laughter.

I turned toward Edward who was seated next to me again. "I don't get it..." I told him. He smiled back at me.

"We sort of find enjoyment in the harassment of certain salesmen." he explained with a smile. "Usually, we just race to the phone and tell them whatever excuse comes into our heads at the time. But, sometimes we order something with made up addresses or something like that, and wait for the return call to see how big of fools we can make them out to be." I furrowed my brow, still not really understanding completely.

"Don't think too much of it." he told me. "Just think of it as the Phone Game." I just barely got a nod in when all six vampires seemed to bounce right out of the positions again doing exactly what I now learned to dread.

"I GOT IT!"

Then the stampede. This time, Alice got to the phone first. An evil grin spread across her face as she listened to the man on the other side. Then, Edward was by my side a second later to whisper something in my ear.

"Be warned... because of Alice's unfair advantage of seeing things... she plays the game with her own set of rules." He then smiled at me. "Nothing better than to listen to Alice twist the unfortunate person's future!"

I forced on a fake smile and said, "What more could a vampire ask for?"

He grinned at me showing his ultra-white teeth. "Just fun and games, Bella. Just fun and games."

And so I believed him till I heard Alice's voice in the background. "Just wait, Bryan of MIC! I will hunt you down when you least expect it... knowing that tomorrow you're going to ditch work."

I almost heard the bellow from the boss as he over heard the conversation.

_End_

**Okay, I admit, it wasn't the best work that I've done, but hey, it's a drabble. I would first like to thank all of my pleasant reviewers that make my day every time I read a review. It reminds me that I have a drabble that needs to be posted. So, in honor of you guys, I THANK YOU! A special thanks to those who have been sticking with me all the way.**

**Lesson of the Day: **Try it sometime. You may find pleasure in telling a salesman that you don't want any... even if they say that they're just looking for a survey.

**Kaytoko**


	8. Movie Myth Marathon

_Why Me?_

Drabble Eight: Movie Myth Marathon

"Edward! Come here!" I said as I opened the door to his room. For some odd reason, he didn't greet me when I entered the Cullen house. He looked at me from where he was laying down on his couch. He sat up after he saw me though.

"Why were you lying down?" I asked him with my head cocked.

"Sometimes it's nice to close my eyes every now and then. But enough of that. What's in the bag, Bella?" He asked, eyeing my grocery bag sort of wearily. I held my bag out toward him and grinned.

"I rented movies. Let's watch them!"

He raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. We started to walk down the stairs toward the living room where the hunkin' huge TV was located. I kept seeing Edward glancing at my bag, trying to make out the titles of the movies.

"Jeez, can't even wait until we get downstairs, can you?" I accused him. I gave him a smile when he looked at me. "If you _must_ know, they're movies about vampires."

The look he gave me was either confusion, or skepticism. "I though that since your boyfriend's family is vampires that you wouldn't believe the lies that they put in movies." He said.

"Oh, I know. I don't, but I just wanted to see how far off they were." I replied, reaching into my bag as we stepped off the stairs.

"I heard movies! Care if we watch with you?" Emmett asked from the couch. Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice were seated next to him.

"Sure!" I replied following Edward to the vacant couch.

"What are we watching first?" Alice inquired. I started to search though the bag. I held up three movies.

"Okay, Underworld, Queen of the Damned, or Interview with the Vampire. What ever you want to see first!"

Let's just say that their response wasn't what I expected. First, there was quiet. That unnerved me alone. Then, the yelling came. There was one heck of an argument… over there. Edward wasn't in it, but he was examining the cover art.

Finally, they all agreed on watching Underworld first. I gleefully popped the movie in.

After a while, I was starting to realize that the movie was _really _bloody. So every time that somebody would get stabbed or shot or something, I would flinch. Badly.

But that wasn't the worst part. Edward was. I know, I know, shocker.

He just kept talking and talking and talking. Every time the vampires would do something, he would say that it was either a lie or a myth.

"Myth."

"Myth."

"That doesn't happen."

"What a lie."

"Edward! Shush! I can't watch the movie with you whispering!" I whispered back at him.

"Yeah, Edward! SHUSH!" The other four stage-whispered at him. (That's actually pretty entertaining.) He glared at them, and became silent.

"…"

"…"

"Myth."

"Edward!"

"I know! I know."

----------------------------------------------

Eventually, that movie ended. It was… okay. Didn't fit the vampire profile at _all_, but it was still… okay? Did I say that already?

Anyway, we moved on and watched Interview with the Vampire. The entire way through the movie, I didn't understand a thing. Sad, I know. And my _beloved _boyfriend continued his ranting. I swear… I came _this _close to strangling him. … Not that it would do anything to him… but I would still do it!

And finally, Queen of the Damned. Well, let's just say that I found the whole gothic vampire heavy metal rock singer … out of the ordinary… and I suppose that it was a good movie. I liked the girl. But the ending kind of made Edward tense up… because I glanced over at him meaningfully.

"No, Bella."

That's all he told me. I shrugged it off, and jumped up on the table in the middle of the room to impersonate the gothic singers. You know, head banging and screaming singing-ish. Emmett found me entertaining, and joined me soon after.

Of course, then we—or mostly I—got dizzy and was ushered off the table by Edward. So, I sat down. But you know… I wasn't finished.

"So, what do you want to do now?" I asked them. They all shrugged. Of course, I had a plan! insert cheesy hero music I pulled out _another _grocery bag and held it before me.

"We could watch… Romance movies!"

There was a questionable silence for a while… then the arguing began.

----------------------------------------------------------

**Okay, I admit. I'm a total procrastinator. I guess ideas don't come to me as often as they used to… but you know, I've also been writing other stories, so that's been distracting me… and all that other stuff… Anyway, if you couldn't already tell, I have only seen two movies that I have named up there. Actually, I take that back. I have seen only one and a half. The last half of Underworld, and Queen of the Damned. So, if you can tell… SORRY! Thanks for sticking with me though! Love!**

**Edit/ As of right now… I feel completely stupid. Really stupid… I FORGOT the lesson of the day… cries thanks SO much to one of my reviewers who caught my _evil _mistake…. So here it is. **

**Lesson of the Day: **Never, EVER watch a vampire movie with a vampire. You'll only result in giving yourself a headache. Especially when that vampire is totally prone on pointing out those Hollywood mistakes.

** Kaytoko**

**Thanks for reviewing!**


	9. Food Poisoning

_Why Me?_

Drabble Nine: Food Poisoning

"Bella… I'm bored." Edward complained, as we walked through the aisle of a grocery store.

"Well, then you shouldn't have come." I replied nonchalantly, picking up a box of cereal from the shelf. He pursed his lips at my selection, and looked back up into my eyes pleadingly.

"Are we almost done?" he asked. I shook my head, pushing the cart along as I walked. We turned into the frozen foods section, and as I scanned the options for new ideas for dinner, Edward hung back at the entrance. I didn't notice that he wasn't following me until I was already in the next aisle over. I sighed, and turned back around to find him.

I found him staring at a cardboard cut out next to a display of… something. He had a look of disgust and curiosity on—which in itself is pretty goofy looking. He didn't even glance up at me as I passed by him. "What… is it?"

I shook my head, laughing inside. "Food. What else could it be? We are in a grocery store after all." He looked up at me doubtfully.

"How is that food? That looks like… I don't know what it looks like, but it isn't food." He said pointedly, pointing at it.

"How would you know if it's food or not? It's not like you eat it." It's not like I did either, after all, I didn't know what it was. But it couldn't be that bad, after all, it was repelling Edward. "C'mon. We need to finish this so I can go home and do my homework." I plucked a box of the… stuff… off of the shelf and tossed it into the cart.

"You're getting that?" He asked, aghast, following after me.

"Of course. And we're going to try it later." I replied, heading for the bread aisle.

"I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"I can't."

"You can and you know it."

"No, Bella, I can't."

"Pfft. Don't try me. I saw you eat that piece of pizza that one day at school."

"That was only a bite! And I was being forced to!"

"Who says you're not being forced now?"

"… I do."

"Lame excuse."

He crossed his arms and huffed at me, and I knew that I won. I'd get him to eat it whether he liked it or not.

-------------------------

"Okay, now that the homework is done," I said, withdrawing the box of… something… that I picked up earlier. Edward glared at the little box like it offended him. He shrunk away from me as I sat down on the bed, his dark eyes still on the box.

"Bella," he growled warningly. "I'm not eating that."

"Sure you are. I'll even go first. Deal?" I said, opening the box. He just switched his gaze from between me and the box, and then again. Finally, he sighed, silently giving in. I smiled and opened one of the little packages from the inside. I pulled out one of the sticks and gaze at it. It was about the length from the bottom of my palm to the tip of my middle finger. And it was dipped in chocolate with this swirl-y purple stuff around it.

Not too shabby looking.

I shrugged and took a bite from the end, surprised to find that it tasted pretty good. "Mmm…." I mumbled approvingly. "Not too bad. Your turn."

"This still doesn't prove that it's food…" He said weakly, reaching out to take one of the sticks. Surprisingly, he didn't waste a moment shoving the whole thing into his mouth, then just sitting there chewing and swallowing.

A moment passed as he licked his chops, gazing up at the ceiling.

Then another…

And another…

"Edward?"

"Good lord…." He forced out, one hand shooting to his mouth faster than I could blink. "I think I might be sick…"

"What are you talking about? Vampires don't get sick." I retorted raising an eyebrow, trying to find his joke. But suddenly, he was gone, and my window was open, letting the cool air in. I moved over to the window to try and see where he went, but all I could see was his silhouette by the forest's edge.

"Edward?" I called out softly. His voice replied after a moment.

"Bella… Call Carlisle…"

And that's what I did.

-----------------------------

"Food poisoning for a vampire. Who would have known." I said, laughing as Edward lay down on his couch. He just grumbled in reply, his arm over his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have made you eat that." I touched his forehead lightly, and he glared at me from under his arm.

"Obviously."

"Sorry…" I said again, smiling guiltily. I pulled out the purple box and examined it. I didn't see what was wrong with it… after all; I ate it and was fine. In fact, it was pretty tasty. I turned it over and read the back, finding that most the words were printed in Asian script.

"Warning…" I read out loud to him. "Can cause strange addictions, random spasms, dizziness, insanity, and is a deadly food poison to Vampires." Edward turned over and snatched the box away from my hands, reading the back himself.

"It doesn't say that…" He said quietly after reading the back.

"You don't know that. It's written in a different language."

"Bella…. It's Japanese. I can read it."

"…Really?"

"Yes."

"Maybe you just skipped over the part about the food poisoning…"

"I didn't, because it's not there."

"What? I'm positive that I read it…"

"Bella, you can't read Japanese."

"You don't know that! I could be half Japanese for all you know."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not!"

"Are too—ugh…"

"Edward?"

"I'm going to be sick…" He got up and stomped away to the bathroom, again at the speed of light.

"Edward!"

Carlisle appeared in the doorway that Edward just ran though. "He should be better soon. What was the stuff that you fed him?" I held out the box for him to see.

"Just some… Pocky…."

_End_

**Well, there goes another drabble! Truthfully, I LOVE Pocky. It's the world's best creation. Wonderful, wonderful food from Japan. Try it, it's great stuff. Also—Thank you to all who reviewed! I hope you guys liked it!**

**Lesson of the Day: **Even Vampires can have strange reactions to foreign foods.

**-Kaytoko**


	10. Fourteen

Why Me

_Why Me?_

Drabble Ten: Fourteen

"Bella, I want to take you on a date."

I looked up from my chemistry worksheets for school long enough to look into Edward's enticing amber eyes questioningly. "You do take me on dates. Even if I don't want to. Why are you asking now?" I inquired, genuinely surprised.

Recently, he took up the action of sitting cross-legged in front of me on my bed while I worked on my homework. All he ever did was watch me work, and usually didn't say much so I could focus. Yet, with his eyes always on me, I could never focus right and usually didn't get much done. I pegged this new action to be one to annoy me. He told me it was because I made interesting faces when I concentrated. Bologna.

"It's different." He said, looking at me.

"How so?" I responded.

"I want to take you on a _human_ date."

I groaned. "Again with the human experiences crap?"

"Just listen. Yes, I want you to go through with another human experience, but this is also for me. Just to try it out. You'll like it." He said, doing the stupid eye smolder thing to persuade me. Defiantly, I closed my eyes so I couldn't see him.

"What makes you think I'll like it?" I said, trying to be tough.

"Alice told me you would."

"I haven't said I would go!"

"Has that ever stopped me before?"

Unfortunately, it hasn't. But, I wasn't going to tell him that he had me cornered. I didn't reply and opted to pout instead. Sometimes he gives in to the pout…

"Why are you fighting me on this, Bella?" He asked. I opened one eye to peer at his expression. He looked a little upset. "I thought you liked going on dates."

"Oh, I do." I said in response. He frowned at my answer, obviously confused. "I just like giving you a hard time."

He continued to frown, despite my tease, but I could see the distinct change in the way his eyes softened that told me he wasn't upset anymore. "Are you saying you'll go with me?"

"I don't really have a choice, do I?" I sighed, watching as his face blossomed into my crooked smile.

--

I'm not really sure what came over Edward on the day of our date. He _insisted_ that he do everything as formally as one would do for a first date. Which I thought was completely ridiculous and totally unnecessary.

I was up in my room, reading the newest book to my collection when Edward arrived to pick me up. I put my book down and grabbed my wallet on my way down to answer the door. Charlie sat in the living room watching the game and looked up when I passed.

"Going somewhere?" He asked.

"Edward wants to go on a date. I'll be back at curfew." I said in response traveling toward the door. I opened the dead-bolt and pulled the door open to gaze upon my too-good-to-be-true "boyfriend."

This is the exact moment when I picked up that this "date" wasn't going to be like usual. My first clue? The very weird and out of place jump Edward did when I actually opened the door.

"H-Hi Bella!" He stuttered, grinning at me. He swept his eyes over me, letting his grin falter a bit at the sight of my jeans and a t-shirt combo. "You look…. Pretty." I just stared at him. "Here!" He said suddenly, thrusting a rose into my face. "I got this for you!" I took the pretty red flower from his hand and looked at him again.

"Okay. What is wrong with you?" I asked, frowning.

"Huh?" His smile wavered a bit. "What do you mean?"

"You're acting like you're fourteen and on your first date." I told him, crossing my arms over my chest. Edward sighed and straightened, leveling me with a look that instantly reminded me of _my _Edward.

"Humor me, please." He told me, frowning slightly. "Pretend it's actually our first date, okay? The whole nine-yards. We've known each other for two months. Alice introduced us. We've hung out three times, and I finally got up the nerve to ask you on a date. Lucky for me, you said yes."

Un-amused by his sudden desire to role play, I had to ask him, "Why are you doing this?"

"To experience the joys of first love!" He said almost enthusiastically, doing the dramatic fist clamp. Unable to keep back the flurry of laughter that this action brought on, I waved for him to stop. Why did he have to look so adorable doing it?

"Fine fine. If only to humor you." I said, giving up on a hopeless argument.

"Oh, joyous day!" He trumpeted, doing the fist clamp thing again. I was almost too amused to see him do a little victory dance before suddenly turning on me. "Now, since this is our first date, you absolutely _must_ take it seriously. Right now, I'm offended that my date calls for jeans and a t-shirt. At least wear a skirt."

"Excuse me!" I blurted, suddenly put off by his demands. "I don't need you telling me what to do! If it's our so-called 'first date' I get to choose what I want to wear."

"But… Bella…" Edward said, his mood swinging again. He looked away, pouting and sniffling. "You're hurting my feelings…"

Struck silent, I just let my jaw drop at how unbelievably vulnerable he could make himself look. If I didn't know how good of an actor he was I would have believed it myself. "Fine… fine. I'll go change." I sighed, turning to go back up to my room.

"Yay!"

--

Finally, I changed into a light purple shirt and a floral skirt that somehow appeared in my closet recently, and followed Edward to the Volvo. He politely opened my door for me (which wasn't usual) and stumbled his way to quickly get to his side (which was).

"So, tell me the requirements for this 'date.' Do I have to act like a blushing, totally embarrassed fourteen-year-old unable to do anything because I'm worried about how you'll take it?" I asked, smirking a little.

"That's exactly how I want you to act." Edward replied, completely deadpan. I stared at him again. Fine. If that's how he wanted to play…

"So, _Eddie_, where are you going to take me?" I giggled obnoxiously, totally amused.

"Well, my shining Bell, I am going to take you to dinner first! A surprise!" He retorted right back at me. Shoot. I'd have to try harder to actually get him uncomfortable.

I let there be silence between us for a short moment- feigning an awkward silence- and tried to come up with plan B. Edward broke the silence though, peering over at me as we zoomed down the street way too fast. "You look really pretty, Bella." He said, almost as if he were shy.

I put my hands up to my cheeks, acting as if I were blushing. "Why, thank you, Eddie!" I giggled a bit. "You look really nice yourself." I gave him a once over for show.

"Gee, Bella. That's too much, don't you think?" He said sheepishly, turning away to 'focus on the road.'

"No it's not!" I objected, getting ready to tease him over this subject. I mean, why not? He's already too beautiful for me to handle on a normal day, so I could just jab at him here for kicks. "I mean, you look like an amazing, totally god-like, delicious, juicy piece of-"

"That's a little over the top for a fourteen-year-old." Edward interrupted me, smirking a bit.

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah, try again. Though, I appreciate your thoughts, dear." He pressed his lips together tightly to keep his laughter contained. I frowned. Obviously plan B backfired. I'd have to try again.

That's about when I noticed our surroundings. It was still about 6 o' clock, so the sun was still up, and everything still visible. "We're going to Port Angles?" I said, genuinely surprised. Edward just smiled, facing forward. I swear, if it wasn't Edward, I'd have strangled him already for being so aloof… Maybe… Okay, maybe not. Arugh!

We pulled through the market place, past all the lit up stores, restaurants, and walking people to pull into a parallel parking spot right in front of a nicely lit restaurant. I stared out the window, surprised to see the Italian restaurant from the first night I rode in Edward's car before us.

"This is…" I started to say, but when I turned to face Edward, he wasn't there. I blinked, confused. I turned to look out my window again to see him pulling open my door. I hesitated for a moment then struggled to get out of my seatbelt and outside next to him. "Edward, this is-"

"My favorite restaurant." He replied, smiling softly. "I-I mean the breadsticks are to die for!" I turned my face away from him to hide the genuine smile gracing my features. Who would have thought.

He led us inside the distinctly warmer than outside restaurant, being careful not to touch me. Stupid fourteen-year-olds. His stupid favorite restaurant comment sent me wavering and wanting to touch him. Arugh!

The waitress at the door instantly zoomed her eyes in on Edward, then gauged the distance between us (which I so wish wasn't there at the moment) and smiled widely at him. I was suddenly struck with the similarity of this situation from when I first came here with Edward. Weird. It kind of _was _like our first date! Though, this time I did have him as mine and I wasn't going to let some dyed-blonde girl think she had something up on me! Uh-uh! Time to turn on the psycho girlfriend!

"Table for two?" She asked sweetly, gazing at Edward.

"Yes!" He replied, smiling back at her. Instantly I felt angry. Stupid polite vampire boyfriend. She took a short moment to glance at me. Mistake. I leveled a lethal glare her way and she blinked, surprised.

"Um, this way…" She said uncomfortably, leading us to a table near kitchen. "Will this do?"

"Yes, thank you." Edward said, smiling at me this time. I smiled back feeling smug when the girl frowned. She wished us a good dinner and scooted out of there and quickly back into the kitchen as we took our seats. Edward folded his hands and raised an eyebrow at me. "That wasn't very nice, Bella."

"Minor lapse into eighteen-year-old Bella. Sorry. I'll go back to being fourteen." I said, grinning. He just shook his head at me. "Oh, Eddie, this place is absolutely gorgeous! How did you first come across it?" I tried to bat my eyelashes at him. Mmm… Plan C in action!

To my displeasure, Edward just smiled at me. Though, I was pretty sure I struck a nerve. My stupidity of why the first time we came here didn't escape him. "Oh, I brought a girl here once. She was shopping with her friends, but got lost, so I took her here so she wouldn't be alone."

"A girl?" I said, frowning and acting as if I was jealous. "Is she prettier than me?"

"Oh, Bella!" Edward said suddenly, leaning toward me to enhance the drama. "Nobody's prettier than you!" I actually blushed this time because, due to our unruly luck, the waiter walked up to our table. He blinked twice at Edward's strange behavior before moving in to do his job.

"Hello, my name is Heath. I'll be your server tonight. Can I interest you in a drink tonight?" His bright blue eyes met with mine expectantly, a small smile gracing his lips. I noticed the way he leaned toward me and blushed at the strange close proximity.

"Um… a Coke…" I mumbled, turning away from him. I glanced briefly at Edward and noticed the distinct frown and tight look in his eyes. Uh-oh.

"And for you, sir?" Heath asked Edward. He didn't look up at him and just kept staring at me. Uh-oh. Edward frowned deeper, obviously annoyed.

"Just a water. And don't worry. Just take your time." He said tightly, an angry tone to his voice. Heath took a moment to look at Edward and rocked back on his heels from the dark look Edward gave him.

"Uh…okay…" The waiter stumbled and shuffled out of there.

"Now, Eddie. That wasn't very nice." I cooed, glad to be teasing him for once. Though, I almost regretted it from the look Edward had on his face after that. He closed his eyes and let out a tense breath before looking back up and smiling at me.

"Sorry, had to take a moment to be one hundred and six. I'm fourteen again." He laughed a little at his own joke, but I could tell he still wasn't very happy. Time for some damage control.

"I'm not surprised this is your favorite restaurant, Eddie." I said, unfolding my napkin. "I mean, look at all the girls who swoon at you! You're very popular. I'm so lucky for you to have asked me out on a date! I'll have to thank Alice later for introducing us." I grinned at him, opting to play out our game.

Edward took the bait and relaxed a bit. "Oh, thank God for Alice! I mean, I'm usually so shy, especially around you. I mean… is this a bad time to tell you that I've had a crush on you ever since we met?" He asked, instantly looking insecure.

I laughed, and smiled at him. "You have? I never noticed! How lucky! I've always adored you from afar. You were always in a different social class from me, I'm so lucky that Alice was a good friend of mine!"

"Here are your drinks." Heath said, placing our drinks and a basket of breadsticks on the table. "Are you ready to order?" he asked quickly, head down facing his notepad.

I laughed slightly in my head. "We'll share a plate of lasagna." I said, smiling. Edward and I decided recently that it was too weird that Edward always said he was not hungry when we went out to eat. So, my _genius_ mind led us to saying "share" and solved the problem! Though… we always had extra dishes that we had to fake crumbs on. Ah well.

"Okayitwillberightout." Heath practically ran from the table back into the kitchen. I actually laughed and Edward smirked.

"Still got it." He joked. "Evil glare of doom that melts men's brains everywhere!"

"And the evil hotness of doom that melts women's hearts everywhere!" I joked back, loving the freedom of this.

"I'm just a killer person, aren't I?" He boasted, smirking.

"You've killed me a thousand times over." I remarked, taking a sip of my Coke.

"Just a thousand?" Edward asked innocently.

"I'm still fourteen. Still time to be slayed a couple billion more times." I took a moment to look at his folded hands on the table, and was instantly swept back to the first day we were here. The same desire to touch his long white fingers coursed through me and prompted this question: "Do fourteen-year-olds hold hands on the first date?"

Edward looked kind of amused by the question. "Not many. Though, if you want to hold my hand I'm not going to reject you. Just let me take your hand, since I'm the guy and all guys have to take the initiative. Right?"

"Who said I wanted to hold your hand?" I said defiantly, looking away. He just laughed and slid his cold fingers over mine.

"Better?"

I looped my fingers through his and smiled up at him. "Better."

"Another question: Do fourteen-year-olds kiss on the first date?" he asked, unfortunately trying the smolder on me. I turned away from his eyes to keep from collapsing easily beneath their power.

"Rarely. I mean, seriously, Eddie! You haven't even asked me to be your girlfriend and you're already talking about kissing? I feel so used." I complained.

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" he asked instantly.

"That's so unromantic."

"Sorry, let me try again; Bella, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on and I'd be completely and utterly honored if you'd say yes to being my girlfriend."

"Pretty words are completely useless against me."

"I love you. Be my girlfriend."

"Too forceful."

"Nobody else captivates me the way you do. Don't disappoint me, and say yes! Be my girlfriend!"

"Completely the wrong feel."

"Bella… You're making this too difficult." Edward had a frown on now. It wasn't like I was rejecting him or anything. I was just enjoying this too much.

"Eddie, it's not that hard. Come on! You've been around for fourteen years. You think you could be a little creative." I said, pouting.

"What, do you want me to shower you with roses and present you with gifts as I get down on one knee to ask you to be my girlfriend?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Don't get down on one knee. But everything else is fine. Don't forget to buy me a super expensive necklace while you're at it. My love is expensive." I teased him.

"I'll do it." He got up then, eyes set on the door. Instantly, I panicked and shot out of my seat to grab a hold of his arm to prevent him from doing anything stupid. He stopped moving, but I'd already done the damage.

My chair careened backward and toppled over on one leg. Right in front of Heath who was carrying my lasagna. It was too late for me to react. So, everything started to move in a ridiculous slow motion. I saw the chair fall. I saw Heath look surprised as he stepped on the slick wood. I saw the look of panic as he slipped. I saw the plate of piping hot lasagna slide off his fingers and go flying through the air. I saw the square extract itself from the plate and land on me. Then… I felt the pain.

--

I sat in the passenger side of the Volvo, staring angrily out into the night. Arugh, my leg BURNED. Not only was the pasta ridiculously hot, the sauce must have just been poured right out of the pot because it splashed all over my lap and stomach scalding me silly. I was not very happy. Why? Because I hurt!

And guess what wasn't making my day right now.

Edward laughing.

Yeah, that's right. _Laughing_. He had a moment of panic and anger at the restaurant, then a moment of worry over me, but as soon as we got into the car, BAM, I'm hit with complete gut wrenching laughter spilling out of him.

"Y-y-y-your …. Hahaa…FACE!" He spat out, pounding on the wheel again. Luckily the car didn't move any closer to the impending cliff of doom to my right. He lapsed back into his giggles again and I frowned deeper. The burn was making me testy.

"Oh, would you just shut UP!" I practically yelled at him, fighting the stupid evil tears of embarrassment from spilling over.

"Oh, I'm sorry, sweetheart." Edward said sweetly, though he was still giggling a bit. He laid a cold hand onto my lasagna shaped burn on my thigh, taking away some of the evil heat. "You were just so adorably cute."

"How?! I was being _burned_. How was it cute?" I hissed, wiping at my eyes.

"Oh, Bella…" He said quietly, pulling the Volvo into my driveway. "Think about the build up! I mean, you leapt up so suddenly, then the chair, and the lasagna… hehe…" I frowned and pulled open my door to get away from him. The big jerk. "No! No! I'm sorry, Bella!" He said, chasing after me when I got out.

I sniffled a couple times, keeping the tears at bay. I'd have to find a cool compress when I got inside. This burn was bringing tears to my eyes! Arugh!

"Oh, sweetheart… Don't cry." Edward said lightly, taking me into his arms. I sniffled again, but found the drive to make a joke.

"Isn't this a little bold, Eddie?"

He laughed, glad to hear I was okay now. "Very bold. And I'm not letting go." He responded, holding me tighter.

"Good."

"Guess what I'm going to do next." He said lightly into my ear. I playfully pushed him away.

"Don't push your luck. You've already burned me once." I laughed. But then, he took my hands into his and stared smolderingly into my eyes. Automatically entranced, I couldn't look away. I felt myself slowly melting away.

"Bella, I'm extremely apologetic for what happened to you tonight. Have mercy upon my poor unworthy soul for laughing at you. Your revenge can be extracted everyday, if you agree to be my girlfriend." He said teasingly, but looking serious.

I smiled at him, finally deciding that I could give up. After all, I wanted a kiss. "Agreed."

"Lucky me." He whispered before sweeping in for that delicate kiss.

_End._

**strikes dramatic pose My second debut! Okay… I lazed off and forgot about this story for about… looks at date a year and a half. But, it kept getting hits! So, I thought, why not update? So, here you have it! A special super long drabble!**

**So, about this drabble. Lack of humor. Oops. But, my genre is humor/romance on here, so I thought, maybe I'll so some cutesy lovey-dovey stuff for once. Tell me what you thought! **

**Lesson of the Day:** Before acting rashly, beware of your surroundings.

**Kaytoko!!**


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